Gassy: Yessir! Thar's lotsa super characters on thar and we shoud spend a little time telling folks about'm.
Theo: Gosh where do we start?? So much talent and so many interesting people. Who do you think is king of the pirates Gassy?
Gassy: Ah thats eezy, it's that feller Cutty! That Peter Spinetti feller! He's the KING of pirates!
Theo: How do you figure that?
Gassy: Well he's got more posts that anybuddy, more threds than anybuddy, and dang if'n he aint the brains of the operation. That Cutty is a bright man! Mean too! He's the sortsa feller that wood poison the famly dog if'n the kids messed up thar chores!! Asides all a that, he's got the vary best pirate name!
Theo: Well what about Feral Donkey? He owns the site you know.
Gassy: Nah, that Donkey is a dumb ass, ha ha ha ha! Thats funny rite thar! FFfttt, ooow, sorry! Nah Fearl is OK I guess. He's a big simple feller but he's good harted. I had a cousin like him named Enus that a wooda come out just as brite as me but my aint dropped'm down the outhouse hole on mistake! He was all buried up down in thar an it cut off his air ya see. We always said he had shit for brains, he he he he! Fearl wouldn't be nowhere witout ole Spinetti tho. Spinetti is the genral fer sure. Had you ever seen Spinetti go after ole Papa Bull or that Esky feller?? Holy Moly! Wy he's been ridin that DAS feller like a stolen moped. Nosiree, Cutty is the king all rite!
Theo: Do you suppose Feral Donkey got shoved down an outhouse??
Gassy: I'm shur of it! Hes got that same dull look that come over Enus after bein all covered up down in thar! Poor ole Fearl, you can see he was a bit challenged from this baby piture. I'm shur he went down that hole. Poor little feller.
Gassy: He was born to run a pirate ship tho!
Theo: Makes sense Gassy, Ok well let's see, how about that Top Camp fella, what's he all about anyway??
Gassy: OOOOh Now he's an odd duk allrite. Now I hate to go supposin about some folks ya know, but's here's how it looks and it looks a bit unsetlin. Now how would YOU describe a feller who claims ta be a COWBOY from NEW JERSY, spends a good deal a time ridin PONIES BACKWARDS outta the barn, an makes his livin doing some sortta artsy fartsy stuff!! Now I ain't nuttin but a dumb ole country boy, but down home those is the boys that are diddlin thar fangers under the toilet stall at the feller next door!!
Theo: Gassy!!! You don't think.........????????
Gassy: Yessir!!! That is whut I think!!!..................... don't drop the soap in the shower!! That feller is a real dandy, have a look!
Theo: Well, I think it's time to move on! Let's see........ Hank! what about Hank?
Gassy: Hanks a vary compulcated feller I'd say. I didn't know much about all that luminat'n ya know until you told me some of that. Maybe ya bettur splain some a that again fer me. I still ain't got it.
Theo: Well, how do I say this?? Hank is able to see things that no ordinary man can see.
Gassy: Ya mean like that Hanky aimin system??
Theo: Exactly Gassy! See, nobody could understand that whole concept because they didn't have the second sight of the universe that Hank has. Other fellas just couldn't see it. They didn't get it!
Gassy: Ya mean like some fellers can see ghosts and some caant? I no all those shootin boys on Tradtalk thought it was bullshet!!
Theo: Well sort of, but this is more along the lines of seeing the whole universe. I can't say that I really understand it. It's metaphysical !
Gassy: LORD! ya mean Hank is all inta the medafizzical??? Like that Steven Hakkins feller?? No wunder nobody can keep up with that boy! I always wunder'd why he was like the shamun, voodoo docter of the bunch! I jus thought he was a mean vindickive little pizzle from the way he nips at all da big dogs. Here's da way I had that boy amagined:
Theo: Now that's funny!! No Gassy, Steven Hawkens is into real physics and real science. We'll have to talk this through later when I have more time! So who else is a bright star down there?
Gassy: Well, howa bout that NJstykbow feller, an dat Stykshooter feller, ya know thar sucked up tighter'n a nut on that RobK. That Leegee feller now he's an OOfishal dipplemat from the Lankastur kingdom to the pirate underwurld. They outta give that feller a robe or sumpthin an one of them septers ta wave around!
Theo: Gassy we should send that suggestion over to the sister ship! Hey, we almost forgot Black Wolf! Black Wolf is a real swashbuckler!
Gassy: Yessir he shor is! He's a real mans man if'n ya know whut I mean! He's a model ya know! Yessir, if'n I was one a them fanger diddlin fellers I'd be on Black Wolf like a latex thong, ha ha ha ha! He sorta reminds me of a model I used to know. She only had about 4 or 5 things to say ya know, sorta like one a them pull strang dolls, same ole thang over an over. Didn't matter tho cuz she was real perty just like Wolf. Chek this out!
Theo: Gassy, he's gorgeous! He's even got a fuzzy cap! I wonder if he uses shampoo with the conditioner built in or a whole other bottle? I never knew you dated a model!!!
Gassy: Yessir! an I got nikkid pitures too! he he he he ! FFFbllllaaatt!!!! ohhh sumtimes I just loose it, sorry!!
