Gassy: Theo I'v got a real puzzlment!
Theo: What's up Gassy??
Gassy: Well, Im lookin down thar at dat pirate site an I noticed that some a them pirates like Hank and Cutty, they speek all funy! I mean like when theys takin about Ol DAS or sum other fellers, they don't say sumpin like DAS, or Phil, they say
D A V I D S O Z A, or P H I L M A G I S T R O like robots spittin out the hole dang Christian name an I'm all puzzled by dat!!
Theo: Yes, it's very sly, and mainly you see PETER SPINETTA JR (Cutty), or THOMAS MORRELL (Hank) working that clever angle.
Gassy: Now dangit! Dont you go ta takin all robotik!!
Theo: I'm sorry Gassy. See, I figure it like this, but I could be wrong. If I was Peter Spinetta Jr. or Thomas Morrell, and let's just say I wanted to ruin a fella's business or damage a fellas reputation, I would always include his full name in every attempt to defame him! That way there is no mistake in anybodies mind about who the guy is you are making accusations about! See if I was doing that I would hope that eventually the name would be associated with "trouble" and hopefully eventually damage the guy!
Gassy: Lordy! that rite thar is cunnin borderin on evil!! LMAO!!! I'm lernin so much from alla these boys!! I jus feel so forchunate havin them fellers like Spinetti an Mr Morel ta lern from!!
Theo: Yea, it's been a real education for me for me too, and I'm still learning just like you are! I've never seen anything like this in all my years, and I agree, we are SO fortunate to have the level of training we are getting here. These are life skills that we can use, just like the pirates do!
Gassy: Wuz that you that peed on the dang toylet seat THEODORE ROSSI??? ha ha ha ha ha ha snork...he he he he !
Theo: I think you may be learning a little too well there Gassy McDugal!!!
Theo: Hey, speaking of naming names and Thomas Morrell, you know how you've been asking me about his powers and all?
Gassy: Yessir! I'm all bafuddled!!
Theo: Well, check this out! I did a little google search and you won't believe what I found!!!
Gassy: Is that the Hank feller sittin thar all perty??? an sech a nice rite up too! Mity confusin tho! I don't see no name on that rite up !????
Theo: Well, LOL, I magine he wrote that himself! It get's a whole bunch creepier too! He's got a whole website full of stuff you have to read to believe! Check out this wonderful testamonial from Madam Sea Queen!!
Gassy; WTF is that?????? LMAO!! ar you pullin the wool down ovur my eyes???
Theo: No Gassy, no way! There is no way I could make this up!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!
Gassy: Friggin HELL!!! is this boy one a them Worloks are sumpin??? MAN, the haars on my back is standin straight up!! I'ma gonna hav NITEMARES!!! I thank I piddled mysev!!! Dangit!!
Theo: Don't worry Gassy, we can leave all the lights on tonight!! I think I might like that too !!!! I've got the creepin heebeegeebees!! The whole thing smacks of satanism to me!!
Gassy: Ya spose them pirates is salin under da satan flag???? My hands is shakin!!
Theo: Well, after I read that Feral said he would cook his neighbors dog into chili and take it to them with the collar at the bottom, I think it's a darn good guess Gassy and that would explain a few things!!
Now in all seriousness Gassy, he he he, here's a whole new perspective on 9/11!!
Gassy: AAAAHHHHHHHGGGGGGRRRRRR!!!!!! No more!!! NO MAS!!! NO MAS!!!! I caant do this no more!!! I dont wanna end up under dat anus card!!!!!!
Theo: I'm sorry Gassy, that's why I held off telling you for so long! I knew it would freak you out! Now stop shaking and settle down fella! HERE, have a shot of whiskey! I'll pour a double for myself!!
Theo: That's it! now breathe steady! steady ........breath!!
Gassy: OK OK OK I'm bettur now. Good sweet corn sirup!!, do you mean to tell me that the same Hank or Thomas Morrell that has been goin aroun callin this a rip off an dat a rip off, an all the koolade dranking bruha, an OL Adcock is a fool, an Ken Beck is a cheat, an folks a gettin snookerd by ever one, an Esky bein crazy an DAS bein crooked, an talkin to the han, an on an on an on...is da same Tom Morrell dat is ovur thar snookerin folks outta thar gas muney fer a voodoo forchun tellin with a dad gum deck a poker cards while Fearl is cookin the neighbors dog into chili?????? Maaaaa Gaawd!!
Theo: Well, Er...... Yes. It just makes your head spin don't it?
Gassy: ma hed is all spinnin from da likker and da numoronagy an satanizm, an do chili, an da medafizzin an all dat siferrin an star gazin Oooohhhhh................. ZZZZZZZZZZ FFfft grummmlll ZZZZZZZZZZ
Theo: Goodnight Gassy, sleep tight. I think I'll just stay up and keep watch till the sun comes up.
