Decoding Pirate Lingo (part one)

Gassy: I'm awful confused Theo! I've been readin a bunch a that Pirate stuff, specially on the Ded Chikin and it ain't makin a lik a sense!

Theo: I can understand that Gassy. You have to be in a pirate frame of mind you see. First off, a real pirate doesn't ever tell the whole truth about anything, EVER! Pirates are masters of deception!

Gassy: You mean like a Ninja??

Theo: Well sort of, but Ninjas are on the good side of things and pirates are a scourge you see. That's the whole point of piracy: to be pervayer of evil in the world.

Gassy: Wow! If'n we ever dock with that sister ship can we truss those boys not to slit our throat?

Theo: Nope! If we could trust them they wouldn't be real pirates, but anyway, getting back on the lingo part, here's one example. See how that Brent Kaufman fella says he was chewed out by the moderators on TT for just wanting to post a shoot schedule?

Gassy: Yep I seen that! Those TT fellers is bunch a rats and poor Ol Brent was another pirate viktum!

Theo: Exactly! That's exactly the message he wanted to get across! Truth is, I talked to those moderator fellas and they let me read the exact PMs they sent to Brent. They were sweet as pie to Brent. Here take a look for yourself .....................

Gassy: Whoooaaaa! That Brent feller piratized me! There ain't no chew'n going on here! In fact it's a bunch a back slappin an fat chewin just like ol buddies! So why would he lie about all that??

Theo: Because he's a pirate! That's what I'm trying to tell you. A good pirate RARELY tells the whole truth! It's a discipline of sorts and a way of thinking.

Gassy" Do you spose we will EVER be good enuff at that to be pirates??

Theo: I don't know Gassy, that's why we are here! To study the very best and hopefully learn a thing or two! We've got the best teachers we could hope for because there isn't a half honest one in the bunch.

Gassy: Good! Then we are all set to lern, but where do we start? I mean, if'n we caant believe a word outta thar mouth, how do we break the code?

Theo: It's very subtle Gassy! You have to read between the lines. It will come with practice. If it were easy, everyone would be a pirate and they wouldn't be so special! They are the nastiest ship sailing under the skull and bones! They're the best! In fact, Brent just told an outright lie, like a bunch of the pirates do. Kevin Cummings told an outright lie on the Leatherwall about whether the pirates support lying and bashing, LOL! That lying outright is the simplest form of dishonesty but the pirates are well versed in many forms of dishonesty!

Gassy: Ya mean they is multi talented liars??

Theo: Well what do you think???, LOL ! It may take a us years to get that good because I suspect a bunch of them have been liars their whole lives. Here's another example. Remember how Hank is always saying he got run off for posting an innocent DAS/SAD parody thread??

Gassy: Sure I do, them folks at TT ran him off for not being a DAS cheerleeder right?? Ain't no way Ol hank was dranken that koolad!!

Theo: Sorry Buddy, but you got fooled again! The truth is, Hank was in trouble for a long while before that thread. First he was spamming those Quinn bows till people couldn't stand it. Then he was fighting with folks over political views to the point that they had to ban political topics.

Gassy: You mean Hank was the one who caused that trouble?

Theo: Yep, and then he went after the Christians, because you know how he feels about that! It didn't set well with folks being called "Jesus Joes".

Gassy: Lordy! All that was Hank???

Theo: I'm afraid so. Here's one example of stuff Hank said that pised people off:

quote:
I saw the "No Spin Zone" on the header of this site. Not really sure I want to be associated with anything remotely linked to the Fox Network. Kinda implies the Neocon extreme right wing jesus joe's hang here in lock step.

The DAS/SAD thread was just the last straw, and you know that was just a little off from Hanks story too. Here's the post by Hank that got the thread pulled:

"La-De-Da is Indian for "I just shit myself and I really don't care"I was really lucky to get one of these bad boys as there is a 5 year wait on them. Guys that are serious about them know what they are really worth. Soon there will be a custom elite model that will be called the La-De-Fuckin-Da."

Theo: See, he was daring people to ban him. He wasn't even banned after that actually. It was a while later he was told to take a 30 day leave to cool down, and he demanded to be banned.

Gassy: Dang!!! I was snookerd again!!! Those boys shor can spin a tall yarn!!

Theo: I'm telling you! Rarely a word of truth ever, and we've just scratched the surface! Batton down the hatches me matey! We're headed into rough seas!!