Redemption

Theo: Well Gassy I've gotten behind in my pirate reading, but I just noticed an interesting thread in the Chicken! It's called "Right is right", which I have to say is a real oxymoron to see in the chicken, LOL.

Gassy: Yessir! That Brett Kaufman feller fessed up ta sayin some shady thangs didnt he??LOL!

Theo: Yes he did, and I have to give him credit for sure. You know, the easiest thing in the world is to tell the truth. The hardest thing in the world is to tell a fib and then admit it. I figure Brett is pretty much worthless to us now! There isn't much we can learn from folks who do the right thing! LOL

Gassy: Yea, makes me a bit uneezy just thankin 'bout it. Ya spose he'll get run of the ship fer tellin the truth??

Theo: Well, my guess is he'll be held under suspicion for a good while. Any form of just behavior is a red flag! LOL!! It was really interesting reading the rest of the thread too!

Gassy: Dat shore was intresting alrite! The line to come clean shore didn't form up behind Brett did it?? LMAO!! I seen dat Lurker feller back in trouble for talking sense too!

Theo: Yea, anyone who points out their dirty dealings or obvious hypocrisy gets labeled a subversive, LOL!! They're trying to make him out to be some troll now, LOL. It's a time honored ploy on the ship. If you don't like the message, just label the messenger a troll and POOF! It looks like Lurker has had some problems with his posts being altered, too, LOL.

Gassy: Yessir, basically anythang ta discredit the feller, LOL. Pirates luv ta change the posts of folks so the banning looks legit. Dat Njstykbow feller shore can turn a fellers wurds on there hade too! LOL. I seen dat rswbow feller was complaining about da chikin being a garbage dump, LOL. I hope he likes ta swim! LMAO!!

Theo: Yea, rswbow suggested that maybe the site wasn't really there to be a garbage dump, but did you see how many folks backed him up??? ha ha ha ha ha!!

Gassy: Not one feller said "yep dats rite" LOL They all just ignored his post, even Fearl!

Theo: That's because nearly all the core members ARE there to dump on someone and that is the whole reason for the site, LOL. The chit chat about archery is just a cover, a backdrop. The calling card for the pirates has always been that they are a public toilet. Here's a snapshot of the Dead Chicken:

Gassy: Dats funny rite thar! ha ha ha ha ha!! I like dat chikin hangin from da door LOL!! Yep all them pirates have a beef with sumbody fer shore.

Theo: I liked how the usual suspects like Cutty showed up to point the finger at other sites, LOL! Cutty might as well just start paddling away if things at the POA got on track, LOL

Gassy: Well, ol Cutty has lotsa help still on da ship from fellers like Hank, Fearl an da whole lankustar crew. Them boys is dependin on keeping the wurld spinnin backwards, LOL!

Theo: Yea, its got to be tough though when folks on your own site are starting to have the same opinion as the rest of the online world. They can just keep banning anyone who speaks up I guess, but they really can't afford to lose anyone.

Gassy: Well I saw them crowin about havin so many new members! Maybe they has all they need!

Theo: Well Gassy remember, about 25 of their new members are us! LMAO!! Probably another 40 or 50 are there because they read our blog and want to see the train wreck for themselves! LOL I think our link has been posted on LW a couple times! We have a faithful following now! Basically people read our site to decode all the double talk on the POA. It's really fun! First you read the POA and see how many lies you can spot, then you read the review and see how many you found!! It's more fun than the daily crossword puzzle!

Gassy: yea dat is funny an kinda sad too LOL, Ya spose hank'll be sendin us cupcakes fer all da traffic we sent ta his witchin craf site???

Theo: he he he he he !

Gassy: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Theo: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!! SNORK!!! HE HE HE

Gassy: HA HA HA HA !! COUGH!! CHOKE!! SPEW!! HA HA HA !!

Sponsors'n Sech

Theo: You know what strikes me funny Gassy??

Gassy: whatsat??

Theo: I've been reading a few comments on the good ship about how it is such a good site because they don't take sponsor money.

Gassy: Dats rite! Them pirates ain't beholdin ta no man! It keeps all dat bias stuff away!

Theo: Well yea, but what about the business deal that Feral has with Tradtech? Seems funny they would point the finger at sites that take a couple hundred bucks to put up an ad, but completely ignore a business partnership.

Gassy: Ya spose that Fearl is bejoldin ta RobK on account a bein in cahoots??

Theo: Well, what do you thing Gassy?? LOL! They are supposed to be the model of free exchange of info, but here's just one example of how it really works. That Claus fella asked about plungers and Feral jumped in and told him to try a Cavalier. Did you see that?

Gassy: Yep, I did see dat. He says that Leegee feller is coming out with a short plunger someday soon too. Naw where do ya spose Tradtech came up with such a clever idear like all dat??

Theo: Exactly Gassy. Feral deliberately didn't tell Claus that DAS has had short plungers for years!

Gassy: Ya mean the pirates is lying ta folks to steer'm to da Tradtek stuff?? Heck, ain't that the kinda bias they is all so set against with all dat sponser'n goin on??

Theo: It's really funny how they do that stuff Gassy and knowbody says a word, LMAO!! They've done the same thing with the Gamemaster parts. Even the fact that tradtech is making a DAS copy plunger to fit their DAS copy riser just slides right on by, LOL.

Gassy: Now hang on rite thar! You jumped on my tail fer talkin about them copies'n sech, an now yer doin it!

Theo: Yea, you're right Gassy, I'd better shut up, LOL! Heck it won't be long before the pirates have it all twisted around to where DAS copied Tradtech anyway, LMAO!!

Gassy: I wunder if dat Leegee feller and RobK have a DAS harecut yet?? he he he he!! I'll bet if DAS shaved one side a his bum, they'd be down thar scrapin aroun within a week!! LMAO!!

Theo: Maybe that's why the aftershave is so strong! LOL!! Maybe we should start a rumor that DAS wears wool underwear, and see how long it takes for Leegee to start scratching, LOL! Yea, those pirates sure like to point fingers but they suddenly go plum blind at what's going on right under their feet.

Gassy: LOL!! Ya no, maybe we shud work up a post about all the pirates that walk aroun with the blinders on wave them stinky buckets on by!!

Theo: That would be a great new topic Gassy! Good idea!

Who?? ME????

Theo: Say Gassy, We need to watch close down on the ship now so we can learn some techniques for lying our way out of trouble!

Gassy: Yessir! Reminds me a them Cops shows where the feller is pulled ovur an da offiser says "Well looky here! You got 15 pounds a meth in your trunk!" Then the feller says "Who ??? ME???" ha ha ha ha ha ...I luv them Cops shows!!

Theo: Yea but the cops aren't fooled are they?? LMAO!!!

Gassy: Nah, hell, its plain as da nose on your face. It's a hoot tho ta see them fellers come up will all kinds a divirdjuns! LOL

Theo: Yes but the pirates aren't your average petty criminals Gassy. These guys are really worth studying. See, it's the core group of members who are really responsible for the trouble. The other folks have been recruited as smoke screens for these guys.

Gassy: I see KCummins has started a pirate member register! Makes them boys seem normal to the wurld don't it??

Theo: That was clever for sure, and to be honest, most of the guys in that thread ARE normal. They're only part in the dirty work is providing cover. The message is "look everybody! We're just normal guys!", LMAO It's kind of hard to tell who is commited and who is "voluntary", LOL!!

Gassy: ROTFLMAO!!!! Yea, meanwhile the da core fellers sit down in da chikin bunker and flip the wurld the bird! Now dats da pirate way rite thar!! I see more a them pirates has the BANNED badge of honor now!

Theo: Yep, and they just can't figure out why! LMAO!!

Gassy: Ha ha ha ha ! Dats funny rite thar! Ya spose they can sell all dat??

Theo: We'll see! I think the rest of the archery community has had their fill of looting, stalking, and lying Gassy, but folks who haven't been privy to all the information, who's involved and how they work are probably taking notice for the first time!

Gassy: Yessir, well our hit counter shor says folks'er watchin!

Theo: Indeed! We actually have more traffic than the ship! It's sort of boiled down to a card game now Gassy! The pirates playing the bluff, Hank checking the stars and sewing up voodoo dolls, and all of them wondering just what we know, and just how long before people around them start asking hard questions.

Gassy: Yep, I spose them pirates could come clean an say "look we'll jus clean all this up, pologize fer the trouble they cawsed, an chart a new course" !??

Theo: Yea, or they could just hang onto that pair of 3's and keep bluffing and hope to win the pot! LMAO!!

Gassy: I'll bet them boys hang in Theo! After all, it's basically Hank an dat Cutty feller callin all da shots with Fearls muney on da table!! LMAO!!

Theo: That's right Gassy! LOL Feral's leg is chained to the yardarms, and the boys that are steering the ship at the rocks have a Zodiak ready to jump!

Gassy: I'll bet dats Hanks Zodak, aint it?? ha ha ha ha ha !

Theo: It must be Gassy! It says "The Sea Queen"" across the back! LMAO!!

Gassy: Da down side ta havin pirate frends, is welllll, havin pirates fer frends!!



Theo: Hand me a beer would you Gassy?? It's Friday and we need to get comfortable to watch the show!



Gassy: Sqeek! Fizzzzz!, here ya go Theo, pass them chips an salsa over thisa way!!



Gassy" An da nacho cheeze too!! LOL That's rite!!

Naming Names

Gassy: Theo I'v got a real puzzlment!

Theo: What's up Gassy??

Gassy: Well, Im lookin down thar at dat pirate site an I noticed that some a them pirates like Hank and Cutty, they speek all funy! I mean like when theys takin about Ol DAS or sum other fellers, they don't say sumpin like DAS, or Phil, they say

D A V I D S O Z A, or P H I L M A G I S T R O like robots spittin out the hole dang Christian name an I'm all puzzled by dat!!

Theo: Yes, it's very sly, and mainly you see PETER SPINETTA JR (Cutty), or THOMAS MORRELL (Hank) working that clever angle.

Gassy: Now dangit! Dont you go ta takin all robotik!!

Theo: I'm sorry Gassy. See, I figure it like this, but I could be wrong. If I was Peter Spinetta Jr. or Thomas Morrell, and let's just say I wanted to ruin a fella's business or damage a fellas reputation, I would always include his full name in every attempt to defame him! That way there is no mistake in anybodies mind about who the guy is you are making accusations about! See if I was doing that I would hope that eventually the name would be associated with "trouble" and hopefully eventually damage the guy!

Gassy: Lordy! that rite thar is cunnin borderin on evil!! LMAO!!! I'm lernin so much from alla these boys!! I jus feel so forchunate havin them fellers like Spinetti an Mr Morel ta lern from!!

Theo: Yea, it's been a real education for me for me too, and I'm still learning just like you are! I've never seen anything like this in all my years, and I agree, we are SO fortunate to have the level of training we are getting here. These are life skills that we can use, just like the pirates do!

Gassy: Wuz that you that peed on the dang toylet seat THEODORE ROSSI??? ha ha ha ha ha ha snork...he he he he !

Theo: I think you may be learning a little too well there Gassy McDugal!!!

Theo: Hey, speaking of naming names and Thomas Morrell, you know how you've been asking me about his powers and all?

Gassy: Yessir! I'm all bafuddled!!

Theo: Well, check this out! I did a little google search and you won't believe what I found!!!

http://magicrown.tripod.com/bio.html

Gassy: Is that the Hank feller sittin thar all perty??? an sech a nice rite up too! Mity confusin tho! I don't see no name on that rite up !????

Theo: Well, LOL, I magine he wrote that himself! It get's a whole bunch creepier too! He's got a whole website full of stuff you have to read to believe! Check out this wonderful testamonial from Madam Sea Queen!!

http://seaqueen.wordpress.com/2006/08/11/thomas-morrell/

Gassy; WTF is that?????? LMAO!! ar you pullin the wool down ovur my eyes???

Theo: No Gassy, no way! There is no way I could make this up!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!

Gassy: Friggin HELL!!! is this boy one a them Worloks are sumpin??? MAN, the haars on my back is standin straight up!! I'ma gonna hav NITEMARES!!! I thank I piddled mysev!!! Dangit!!

Theo: Don't worry Gassy, we can leave all the lights on tonight!! I think I might like that too !!!! I've got the creepin heebeegeebees!! The whole thing smacks of satanism to me!!

Gassy: Ya spose them pirates is salin under da satan flag???? My hands is shakin!!

Theo: Well, after I read that Feral said he would cook his neighbors dog into chili and take it to them with the collar at the bottom, I think it's a darn good guess Gassy and that would explain a few things!!

Now in all seriousness Gassy, he he he, here's a whole new perspective on 9/11!!

911 http://magicrown.tripod.com/day911.html

Gassy: AAAAHHHHHHHGGGGGGRRRRRR!!!!!! No more!!! NO MAS!!! NO MAS!!!! I caant do this no more!!! I dont wanna end up under dat anus card!!!!!!

Theo: I'm sorry Gassy, that's why I held off telling you for so long! I knew it would freak you out! Now stop shaking and settle down fella! HERE, have a shot of whiskey! I'll pour a double for myself!!

Theo: That's it! now breathe steady! steady ........breath!!

Gassy: OK OK OK I'm bettur now. Good sweet corn sirup!!, do you mean to tell me that the same Hank or Thomas Morrell that has been goin aroun callin this a rip off an dat a rip off, an all the koolade dranking bruha, an OL Adcock is a fool, an Ken Beck is a cheat, an folks a gettin snookerd by ever one, an Esky bein crazy an DAS bein crooked, an talkin to the han, an on an on an on...is da same Tom Morrell dat is ovur thar snookerin folks outta thar gas muney fer a voodoo forchun tellin with a dad gum deck a poker cards while Fearl is cookin the neighbors dog into chili?????? Maaaaa Gaawd!!

Theo: Well, Er...... Yes. It just makes your head spin don't it?

Gassy: ma hed is all spinnin from da likker and da numoronagy an satanizm, an do chili, an da medafizzin an all dat siferrin an star gazin Oooohhhhh................. ZZZZZZZZZZ FFfft grummmlll ZZZZZZZZZZ

Theo: Goodnight Gassy, sleep tight. I think I'll just stay up and keep watch till the sun comes up.

Sorry Folks!!

Gassy: Hey Theo has you seen that thars a hole bunch a threads gone from da Ded Chikin?? What da heck is up???

Theo: Gosh Gassy, I don't know!??? I mean they were so PROUD of the content of the chicken and all the fine GENTLEMEN posting there!?? I don't get it!!

Gassy: It jus dont figger!! Musta been puter glich'er sumpthin. Pirates don't pull threads or CENSOR anythang do they???

Theo: It must have beena glitch Gassy! I'm sure they will get it corrected and bring all that fine content back!! In the meantime we have to apologize to the hundreds of visitors who read our blog everyday. Some of the content won't make sense now that the pirates have deleted their threads. I guess they'll have to fill in the blanks themselves!??

Gassy: Well, not to wurry, we have baskets a material!

Theo: That's right Gassy! In fact we have a really fun entry to be posted later today!

Gassy: Yessir folks stay tuned and thank you fer all the wunderful crads an letters a support! Thanks fer them cupcakes too!! We'd also like ta thank all the folks who hav helped with the reseerch and topic sudgeschuns. We have many more fun entries ta cum!!

Theo: What cupcakes??? Gassy!!!! Hmmmmm!

Theo: Well,that's right Gassy! There is much more great content to come. Thank you everyone!! We couldn't do this without a broad base of support and all the PMs and emails that have been forwarded to us, as well as the archive research, public record research, and other supporting documents that have been sent to us!!

THANK YOU!!

Reflection

Gassy: Ya know Theo, I been readin some posts by that feller RL Clark and that Castro feller. Thar wuz a thred called "Sumpthin ta thank about" an dat Castro feller had some thawts on anuther thred. You spose all this lyin and deflamin a folks is da right thang ta do?


Theo: Of course it is! Don't listen to those guys! You'll never get to be a pirate thinking like that!


Gassy: well,... I kin see thars a difrence batween deflamin each other thar in the chickin, an going on ta deflame folks all over heck! I seen Cutty sayin anybuddy can come in and defend theselves, but why should people have to watch the chickin to see ifn thar bein deflamed'r slandard???

Theo: Gassy, that's why Cutty is king of pirates and not you my friend! Of course that's obsurd! See, that's all smoke and mirrors. People can't REALLY come in and defend themselves even if they did see what was happening, or they wouldn't fair any better than Phil. That's the whole point of using the chickin to defame people. Do you think Esquire could have just walked in and defended himself from that 20 page thrashing?? LMAO You can create any reality about a person or business that you want and then let it drift out into the larger community. Take that Clark fella for instance. They can use all sorts of deceptions in the chicken to get him to feel like there is wrong doing out there, and that they just hunkered down to escape it! You've got all the pirates on hand bobbing their heads up and down to complete the process. He doesn't know the history behind anyone!! LOL There would be no point to the chicken if it was just members arguing with members!

Gassy: he he he he he , yeeaaa that is funny rite thar! LOL I have ta admet! You spose them alkida folks thet run them camps wurk it sorta similar?? If'n ya git a buncha fellers all agree'n and hed bobbin, even crazy stuff can soun sensibal, LMAO!!




Theo: Yea, I don't imagine you get the whole story there either, LMAO. It works though, and damn it is funny! Saying stuff on a public forum to deliberately damage a business or a persons reputation is a WHOLE lot more fun than dissing someone for the brand of truck they drive!! LMAO!

Gassy: I see dat PaArcher feller is back with da flame flicker on!

Theo: Yea, Look at that! And he knows just how to get Papa Bulls goat!

Gassy: yep, LMAO!!! He says we'll fix him! we'll quit talkin about him!

Theo: Yea well, that would certainly fix Papa Bulls wagon wouldn't It!!

Gassy: they outta fix everybodies wagon an just quit talkin about anybody!

Theo: Don't you know that would fry Phil Magistro if they quit bad mouthing him? man, what a low blow that would be!!

Gassy: yep, an dat Esquire feller would be hoppin mad if'n they just quite talking about hem!!

Theo: If PaArcher gets his way I can see a whole lot of pissed off people!! LMAO!!!

Gassy : seems a like them boys is puttin the fanger on dat Papa Bull fer all dis trouble! Why do ya spose dat is?

Theo: Pirates don't care who they finger Gassy, they just go for any visible or easy target! I think that's the biggest reason DAS has been targeted. What have any of them reallly done??

Gassy: aint nuthin ya kin do about it I guess.

Theo: Sometimes even a casual observer gets sick of what they are casually observing Gassy and picks up a stick.

Gassy: Yea, I guess thats da danger of malicious behavior!

Gassy: I wunder tho, is thar really any rite'n wrong or can a feller do anythang to get his booty??


Theo: Nah Gassy, if you're a pirate you run without rules! Whatever it takes to score is fair! Here's a picture of Cutty going for the extra point! Or is that KCummings!??




Gassy: Ye that is funny rite thar! Affer all, that KCummings fella says all the other boards have a chicken too.

Theo: Well thats a tall tale Gassy, LMAO!!. See most forums have a moderators area where a handful of guys talk over things in PRIVATE. Whatever they say, it stays there, and more importantly, those areas are not used to spread lies to the general public on an OPEN forum. Heck if they all had chickens we could dock anywhere, but we can't see into any of those other areas!! Anyone can log into the chicken! Heck, they can't even keep us out! LOL!!

Gassy: That KCummins feller, now we don't know much about him do we? He shor is a pirate tho! He kin weave up a mean web a deseption that boy can!

Theo: Yea, we'll have to do some archive searches and ask around. Every pirate has a dog in the hunt somehow. We'll find it. When he says he was banned for just trying to share honest ideas, LOL well,...... the skull and bones goes up the pole upside down LOL!

Gassy: ha ha ha ha Im fellin a hole bunch better Theo! I thank I'll wurk on my CUTTY brand'n iron! how big shuld I make it ya thank??


Theo: well it's a long way across your rear!! LOL How about this long??



(( .........................................................................))


Gassy: Yeeehaa!! yessir!! that'll raise a stank frum all dat hair an sech burnin! LOL I got sum reeebar that outta wurk jus perfek!!



Theo: Well just be careful Gassy! Cutty has burned a few folks good, but this here takes the cake!

Toughen UP!!

Theo: GASSY!!!! We have some serious action in the main forum! Check out the Killing Dogs Thread!! oops sorry! Moved to the Pancaked Possum!

Gassy: Lordy!! That Longhunter feller was flat drove of'n the ship!

Theo: Feral said if it were him he would kill the guys dog on the sly, and then cook a pot of chili with it and take it to the fella with the collar in the bottom!!

Gassy: AAAAHHHGGGRRR!!!!!

Theo: Then Longbow Billy lays a trap and tells him to toughen the &$^%# up! It's a classic 2 pirate attack with the Capt himself at the spearhead!

Gassy: THEO! whut if we aint tuff anuff!??? What if'n that Billy feller comes after us??? That longhuntin feller was perty tuff to!! What if'n Fearl comes after ar pet monkey fer the chilli pot???

Theo: Holy Moly!!! Well I figure Feral would have a time catchin our monkey but that is a fright right there! The Billy fella is about as uncivil as they come too!!

Gassy: Looky thar Theo! that Hornseekin feller posted a bunch a divershunary posts to put folks of'n the scent!!

Theo: It's always embarrassing when a fight breaks out among all these toolerant folks Gassy! They can't pull the thread, cause threads don't get pulled here remember!

Gassy: Yessir!! that is rite!! THAT wood be CENSORSHIP!!!!!

Theo: Thank God Gino stepped in and broke it up!!

Gassy: He's doin a rite nice job a smoothing haars down too, but Fearl is still lookin fer a fight

Theo: He sure is!! I think the Longhunter i s long-gone!!!!

Gassy: Yea, an dat Cutty feller smells a rat!

Theo: Can you imagine smelling a rat on the POA! That's incredible!! LMAO Are you getting that recipe down Gassy??

Gassy: Yessir!! I got'r all writ down!!

Pride and Prejudice

Gassy: Ya know Theo, Ive noticed that the Pirates are a proud bunch! They hold thar hed up high no matter how deep the stink gets aroun'm! Tha's a admirabal quality right thar!


Theo: Yes, the pirates are very proud, but with so many distinguished members, and fine gentlemen, wouldn't you be too??


Gassy: Well, I try to hold my hed up proud when I fart in a crowd, does that count??


Theo: Sure it does Gassy! Don't ever let anyone tell you it stinks! Just stand up proud and hit them with a blast of defamation, profanity, denial, and attitude! That's the pirate way!


Gassy: Studian all these pirate ways is a real character buildin thang ya know!


Theo: Absolutely! Why, just look at the way they stood up for Viper over that nock thread on Tradtalk! I mean here he was calling people fools and gullible over something he has never seen, and pirates stood tight at his side. Then There is Bill Grenoble telling folks about all the fine gentlemen that visit the Dead Chicken, LMAO!


Gassy: Yea, LMAO! did you see those low life tardtalkers trying to tell Viper dat he really outta treat folks with more respect, ROTFLMAO! What a joke! People dont diserve no respect! Now dat Pinny Banks, he's a proud man rite thar, an he stood right up fer Vipers assaults on folks, espeshally dat big mouth das feller. He an Cutty were 4 square! I'll bet Thar aint even a rinkle in Pinnys t shirts he's so upstandin!!



Theo: Penny is indeed a paragon of nobility! I've seen him stand up for all sorts of noble causes like Terry Green bashing for instance. Now that is a proud man!



Gassy: Whut da you spose is Pinnys dog in that fite?



Theo: Well, see he supports bashing of anything modern in archery. Those nocks are the product of the devil to Penny so if Viper has to get rough with folks to get rid of them, well that's OK, and bad mouthing all the guys that opposed Viper is OK even though they were just asking Viper to be nice.



Gassy: Whut ifn Viper was bashin hog huntin??



Theo: Well, then you go to bad mouthing and slandering Viper see.



Gassy: Uh huh .............................OK



Gassy: kinda hard to figger how proud fellers like that Pinny Banks and Bill Grunoble could be swimmin aroun in al that filth and stink in the Ded Chickin aint it tho?



Theo: Not at all Gassy! See, the way I figure it, as long as any part of a pirate is above the river of sewage, he can hold his head up proud! Remember that 20 page Esquire bashing that Feral just deleted for some odd reason?? Now that was definitely a high sewage mark! That was a proud moment with lots of fine gentlemen involved!! So many in fact that it was deleted because they were blushing with pride! Being banned from website after website for obnoxious behavior, or even having the bigger part of the archery community turn their back on you, is no sweat. That's right, pirates like Penny and Bill are standing tall for bashing Terry Green, admiring abusive jerks like Viper, running threads like the Esquire and Magistro bashings, and all sorts of similar high ideals as long as they are in line with a pirating agenda!



Gassy: Seems ta me that ya hav ta hold your hed up jus ta breeth LOL! Ya spose sumday thar will be a saint Pinny or maybe a saint Grunoble????


Theo: Well, LOL, if there ever is, the sainthood won't be worth a red cent :)


Gassy: Ya know the grate thang about the DED Chickin? As long as nobuddy admits they is standin in dung, they can all pretend that the smell is lilacs! Oooh man, ain't it sweet in here??


Theo: Yes, but do they really think others can't smell it?


Gassy: Well, speakin from persunal esperiance, LOL, folks try not to let on when the stank rises, but they scoot on out real quik! LMAO!

Gassy: Sumbuddy outta tell thet Bill Feller, that all that stuff piled aroun his feet with the flies buzz'n all ovur, welll.......That ain't heaps of pride! ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Theo: Yea, maybe his eyeglass prescription is expired, LOL. He is right about one thing though!! If there weren't any defamation and assaults on non-pirates at the POA site, we'd have to pack up and leave! Nothing to learn here!!

Gassy: Dont say that Theo!! we is jus gettin unpacked an moved in! That thar would be a sad day fer shor ifn we had ta pack up an move on!!

Theo: Don't worry Gassy!! The pirates are too stupid and self absorbed to realize that the only grief they get is brought on by their own actions!!, ROTFLMAO!!! By the way, that new pic of you on the blog, now that is noble!!

Gassy: Thank Ye Sir!!!........................FFFTttblatttttt...ahhhhh sorry!:(

Tolerance

Gassy: Ya know Theo, I've been a wunderin about that fellership thang.

Theo: What's on your mind?

Gassy: Wel Tha pirates have a ferum fer talkin about shotguns'n hygagen feuls, an they got a ferum fer tellin dirty jokes, an they got a ferum fer blaspheman, deflamin, an pernografy an sech, now wy wood sech a tolarant bunch a fellers git so constipated over given mister Wolf his fellership ferum?? I mean, theys got way more guys that'r Christian than are usin hygagen feul aint they?

Theo: That's a good point Gassy, I don't know. I think pirates run better on methane than hydrogen, ha h ah aha Yea they have many men of faith there although the faiths are diverse. The pirates have always thrived on diversity and tolerance of ideas though right??

Gassy: yep, thar is mister Wolf, an that sixby feller, an ya know, I'll bet even that Topcamp feller wood come aroun with the rite fellership and guydince.

Theo: Topcamp does seem "faith curious", I mean, he is a thinking man for sure! Let's list a few that we can think of:

Black Wolf, Sixby,RobK, Bill Grenoble are declared Christians

Topcamp, is faith curious (hopefully)

Cutty is a man with family values, most likely Christian

Hank is a Pagan

Mr Zen is a Buddhist

KCummings is an undeclared Christian

Feral Donkey is from the Church of the Primal Scream

Gassy: Yessir, now THAT would make a chapal rite thar!! Maybe some a them fellers like Eskwire would come and join in the fellership and heal some a them wounz!

Theo: Yea, it would be cool, and where else but on the pirate site could such diverse viewpoints be discussed openly?? That could draw way bigger numbers than the chicken! Sorta like the soccer teams being ambassadors betwen countries.

Gassy: well, Ima gonna pray for Mr Wolf an his chapal en sech, Maybe that boy can brang his mission work to the pirates an soften some a thar blaspheman and deflamin ways!

Theo: I'm with you Gassy! that would be great to see! By the way speaking of numbers, our hit counter is spinning like a top!! 1734 hits since friday alone!

Gassy: Lordy sakes!!! that's a whole bunch rite??

Theo: yea Gassy, that's a bunch! LOL!

The Christian Pirate

Theo: My gosh Gassy there is so much pirating going on that we need to get this down or we'll flat get behind!

Gassy: Yessir, an thars a vary intrestin twist on this here batch a piratin!

Theo: Boy There sure is! Shall we start with Oscar's comments about Papa Bull??

Gassy: OK .. I see that Ol Hank gave Oscar the high five and topkamp flagged'm home! Seems like you kin launch a diseption in that ded chickin and perty much count on another pirate coming along an bolsterin ya rite up! Aint it amazin how them boys tag team all that stuff an hammer it down jus like it was a fact??

Theo : Gassy! Man you are really getting good!! I'm proud of you man!! That's exactly right! See, Oscar is trying to make it sound like ol Papa Bull wrote that page and posted it because he was issuing a "manifesto". The TRUTH is that Papa Bull wrote that because folks like Oscar are running around putting words in his mouth and accusing him of motivations he doesn't have!

Gassy: ya mean sorta like is happinin right here?? Flapjack flippin!!

Theo: Yes! I know that because I read that thread and that is exactly what Papa said, more than once! This is a classic pirate deception where you make a statement that is either unsubstantiated, misrepresented, or an outright lie, and then you immediatly get reinforcements coming in and giving it credance! It's a brilliant move, and among the highly trained pirates on the ship it is almost reflexive. it's INSTINCTIVE! LMAO!!

Gassy: that thar is slick aint it?? LOL

Theo: It happens so smoothly that a person whose just reading through and doesn't know its a misrepresentaion would say "hey that must be true", LOL

Gassy: If'n ya tell a lie enough times, does it ever become true??

Theo: Well, in a sense. If you tell it enough and nobody calls it, it can take on the respectability of truth

Gassy: So did hank'n Topkamp know that it wasn't the truth?

Theo: Maybe or may not. It really wouldn't matter. All they need to know is that it is defamatory towards one of their targets, so what the heck!? Pile on and drive it home!

Gassy: Do you suppose they is puttin on all these here lessons jus fer us??? Id shor hate to put these fellers out but I do apertiate all they is doin for us!!

Theo: Well, I'm sure they would feel good about helping you out Gassy, but I expect we are just watching pirates do what comes natural.

Gassy: Wel, thank you anyway fellers! THANKS FELLERS!!...So what else hav'n they set up fer us??

Theo: One of my favorites Gassy! It's Cutty again on the little delta thread. He's spinning a yarn for Mr Clark there about how the pirates were on the right side of that argument.

Gassy: whatta ya mean, the rite side?? ya mean on the side that had the best diseption or the side that was right, an fer that matter, what is right?

Theo: Whoa Gassy, now you're getting deep! The answer is no one knows. I've heard both sides and probably the truth is in the middle, but nobody outside really knows.

Gassy: On acount' all the pirating goin on??

Theo: Well yea, but here is where the hook is set so beautifully by Cutty! See where he says that anyone is free to come here and tell their side of anything?

Gassy: Yep, I seen that, so whut he's sayin MUST be true

Theo: Except it isn't! I'm just in awe you know! It's like making a quarter appear behind your ear! No, see, the truth is you can only sign in and voice your opinion IF it is the opinion they want you to have! Do you Remember when Phil Magistro came over here and tried to talk to the pirates about why some were banned?

Gassy: OH Lordy! Now that was a pirate party right thar!!

Theo: It sure was! First they let him post several times you see, and THEN they went in and edited some of his posts to say things that he never said! That has been done many times on the pirate site to many people! After that he was heckled, cussed, and eventually banned! See, Terry Green couldn't possibly walk in here and say anything without that happening so folks that have other opinions have to stay out!

Gassy: So thars no tellin ifn the pirate side of the little delter is right er wrong

Theo: You got it! Gosh, you know, at some point I'd sure love to have Cutty autograph my swashbuckle!

Gassy: I'm thankin a havin a CUTTY branded inta my rearend!!

Theo: Branded!!??? Why not just a tattoo Gassy? A brand is hard core!

Gassy: Yeassir!!! Ima gonna git all likkered up an set on a hot CUTTY iron so it goes all across both buns!! None a that thar sissy inkin stuff!

Theo: Well! It sure will be tough for Cutty to turn you away if you drop trow and show him that! LMAO!!! Good for you little buddy!!

Gassy: All rite then!! Yessir! .... so kin we get to the last part a this, cause I gotta pee!

Theo: Sure, the last one is a testiment to the true nature of piracy! Did you see Black Wolf ask the folks there about a Christian fellowship forum?? Now I've seen Black Wolf do his share of pirating, but I gotta say, that's a gutsy move! What he is up against though is that pirating and Christian fellowship are like oil and water.

Gassy: Ya mean its hard ta be a lyin, cheatin, misrepresentin, dephamen, blasfeemun, cussin, drunkin, Christian who likes pernografy???? ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!

Theo: Yeeeeaaa, well I would have put it more delicately, but I think you get the picture, LOL! Topcamp said it perfectly actually! Maybe in a parallel universe, but not here! Feral put a nicer face on it by sayin this is an archery board

Gassy: But I'm confused again! If it's jus a archery board, why is thar a ded chickin but thar caant be a chapel???

Theo: Good question! In any case, I'm beginning to wonder if Black Wolf is really pirate material!?? Being willing to look inward is not generally a pirate trait.


Gassy: Hmmmmm............................................................

What pirates really think!

Theo: Gassy we have here a rare glimpse of the pirates unedited! It's fascinating stuff too!

Gassy: Yessir I'm lernin a hole bunch reading all the latest down thar!

Theo: It's been a sad day for the pirate cause though since Mr Zen/Rio, Black Wolf, and Riverwolf went out on a Papa Bull raid at Leatherwall and got banned!

Gassy: Yessir, more Pirates hung on the wall a shame! Oh Lord please bless Ray Cook, Chris Pencak and dat Ralph Webb feller an all those poor fallin pirates and all the starvin childrin in New Ginny! Amen!

Theo: Did you see where Black Wolf doesn't care a bit about being banned? That's a brave face he has on there!

Gassy: Yea says he wasn't lernin nuthin from them folks noways. He was only goin thar to teech them folks and raise them up from ignorance. I gess it was sorta like missionary work for the brave wolf. I dunno whut all them poor dumb Lederwallers are gonna do now that thar teecher is banned.

Theo: Well now hold on Gassy! Wasn't that exactly what he was accusing Papa Bull of doing??

Gassy: Yessir, ya no the funny thang about all them pirates is that you can tell just what them boys is up to by jus listnin to whut they accuse everbody else of! Theys supposin Ol Bull is a bad feller fer goin over to the Lederwall an accusin him of preachin and sech, and then they's all choked up over not bein able ta go over thar and preach an sech themselves! Theys talkin outta both sides a thar hed!

Theo: Gassy I think you just stumbled onto another form of pirate slight of hand! A great way to deflect attention from dirty dealings is to accuse your victim of dirty dealings!

Gassy: Don't da Si-cologists call dat Pro-jekchen??

Theo: Yes, they do! Well, let's see what else we can find...

Gassy: Hows about that kcummings fella hootin over them copy bows??

Theo: Oh, that's a good one! That Kevin now he is really slick!

Gassy: Oh man! He's slipped in a cute little dig on that DAS feller didn't he? He he he he! That nife was soo sharp I bet Ol DAS never even felt it!

Theo: Well, those dumb ass daskateers don't have much of a chance against these pirate folks I'd say!

Gassy: I'd say so! he he he he yea he was ribbin ol Black Wolf about making copy bows an pokin fun at DAS on account of that Tradtech copy.

Theo: Whoa there Gassy! You better back off of that if you want to a be a real pirate! They'll never let you on the ship sayin stuff like that!

Gassy: Well That Gino Bruno feller said the same dang thang! How's a come he can say it an I caant?? Looky here at this quote from Ol Gino on Tradtalk, course he thought it was made by samick at da time:

Quote
"In my opinion, the samick riser is different than the DAS but LAS capitalized on the profile of the DAS for brand recognition purposes......... something that I don’t think is right and also shows their lack of forward thinking"

Theo: Well sure Gassy, Most people agree with Gino, but that was BEFORE he sailed under the skull and bones! He can't be saying stuff like that NOW! They'd have him on the short plank!

Gassy: Well heck! I hope I didnt ofen no pirates with all that! No ofense meant guys! Yea, I mean sure they don't look nothin alike to me atol, nosir! not A-tol! Wy these risers is totally different rite here!

Theo: Well that's better!

Gassy: Now ya dont spose them pirates will go to deflamin me do ya??

Theo: Gassy, come on! You're a red headed dwarf with a learning disability and a terrible flatulence problem! How the heck could they possibly defame you??

Gassy: yep, that is some comfurt alrite. Say here's a good one! Did you see whare Mr Zen refered to Esquires DAS as a $1200 gimmicked, psuedo-recurve, he he he he. What was I sayin a cupple days back about wonderin when the wolves would turn on Fearl an Lankustar??? See that's what Zen REALLY thinks about them metal wonder bows. Course he's new in the hidout, an having jus lost his home on da Lederwal, he'll be keepin low fer a while.

Theo: I can't wait for the show to begin! That's going to be good! It's going to be the pirate party of the century! Here's how I see it! You've got Zen and Kodiak both hating metal risers, Black Wolf defining instinctive shooting for the both of them. They'll like that! You've got the Lancaster boys trying to keep them in check and still run their campaign. You've got Hank preaching voodoo (or doodoo, LOL) and the Christians right next door in the bowyers forum trying to pretend they don't see it. You've got all the DC crew raising hell and bringing heat from all over. There's RobK wishing they would just shut up and quit telling the public what they are really up to. You've got Cutty using the forum to advance his personal war against the same folks as always, and plumb in the middle of all that stink is Feral trying to run a business! Now that's a party!

Gassy: I'm savin my best duds for when that shindig gets rollin! Even the parrits'll be drunk at that shindig! Speakin a Fearls Lankustir deal how do you suppose Fearl pulled that off? That is some serius cooool rite thar gittin that Lankuster deal! Ima thankin Fearl mite have the edge on ma cusin Enus!

Theo: Well I can only speculate Gassy, but I think it's most likely like this. See, I'd bet RobK is getting just a little worried that maybe the pirates might turn on him once he doesn't have anything to offer them. I mean, he knew what they were when he signed on, and I guess they have done the work he needed done.

Gassy: Ya mean like those fellers who go feedin the grizzlees cheetoos an then the cheetoos run out an the feller gets that loose feelin in is bowels???

Theo: yep, it's a lot like that! See, I think he had all the bears dancing and waving their paws hoping for a cheetoo, and got to thinking about the end game! I figure that rather than being stuck there tossing cheetoos forever, he decided to give the pappa bear a cheetoo franchise an make that boy beholdin.

Gassy: You may be rite! You spose Ol Fearl can hold them other bears offen RobK? I'd shor hate ta see Fearls cheetoo franchise circlin the drain!

Theo: Well, I sure hope so Gassy! Feral has his hands full for sure with such a rough crowd and it looks to me like every last one of them has their own plan that might not exactly work for the Donkey!

Gassy: Oh Lord please keep the donkey in yor thoughts'n keep all them ruff bears off'n his hide, an send a little chow to the starvin childrin in New Ginny! Amen! Speekin a that Cheetoo contract, why dont Lankusur give ol Fearl the titans too? Wooden that be sweet??

Theo: That would be sweet, and Lord knows Feral deserves it too! Maybe they can work that out! It just seems like the right thing to do to me!

Theo: Ok!, Ok! I've got one more for you! Have you noticed how a number of the pirates have been talking about lurking around tradtalk and then turning right around and saying how pathetic it is that some folks are lurking at the pirate site???LMAO!!

Gassy: Those boys really outta hire themseves one a them hipokritacal offisers! LOL!

Theo: Good night Gassy!

Gassy: Blattttttttffftpiz! he he he, no one kin deflame me, he he he, G'nite Theo!

Pirate History Ver 3.2

Theo; My gosh Gassy! Things have certainly gotten active down on the ship haven't they!



Gassy: Yessir!! its like one a dem steered up ant hills, LOL



Theo: Have you noticed that part of the pirate lore is that they came to be as a result of the DAS/LAS controversy?



Gassy: Yeeea, my memry is a bit fuzzy but weren't those pirate boys aroun long afore that?



Theo: Oh sure! The Pirates were founded entirely of people banned from tradtalk and later other sites. In the early years of piracy, as I recall, the site was about drinking, cussing, and bashing other sites and people, and basically exacting revenge. Do you remember that?



Gassy: Yessir!, its all comming back! I still got summa dat wine that Fearl showed us how ta make ta keep us all drunk an hummin along! You remembur dat banner dat said THIS HERES AN ADULT SITE AN IF'N YOU AINT A LEGAL AGE THEN GET THE #*&%$@ OUTTA HERE, seppin they didn't use the *&$%, but the real wurds ya no.



Theo: Well I guess, the real history of the pirates might be a bit of an embarrasement now Gassy. As I recall, it really was a place for outlaws to gather and an to stage attacks on decent folks and sites. With the help of smart folks like Cutty though they have goten alot more careful.



Gassy: Yessir! thats why they took to the name PIRATES!! That wernt no axedent an ifn ya look aroun, they's still mostly them same cut a boys, coarse they's all got thar own enemies'n sech. Ya member all dat stink about da little delter bow??? Yeeeeoooh!! That got deep rite thar!! ......Did you see Mr Zen's post 'bout using folks names an disparagin them an sech??? ROTFLMAO!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! awe MAN! he he he , An especially ifn it was motivated by hurtin sumbuddys business!!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!



Theo: Gassy! Calm down little buddy!! You're going to swallow your tongue if you keep laughing like that!!! Yea, Ya know Mr Zen/Rio is Chris Pencak and he's an attorney! I think he really DOES understand what is at work here, except he really needs to take a long look back through the history of the pirates before he says tooo much more! Maybe we outta send him the files???



Gassy: Nah, hes a smart man an he'll figger it out fer hisself. Fer one thang theys paintin this all like it's jus a DAS/LAS thang, LMAO!!



Theo: Yea, LOL! Well it's an easy cover and I guees they think it sells. They've made way too many enemies to even have a clue. I don't think DAS even cares anymore since they've been pounding on that poor guy for what" 2 years? I'd be tired too. While they are all turning over stones looking for ghosts we'll be up a tree safe and sound. I hope they find that nasty DAS fella or maybe Papa Bull! LMAO!!! Gosh, let's see if we can name just a few folks that fit Mr Zens profile:



Terry Green, owner of Tradgang

Rob Distefano, co-owner I believe of Tradgang

Robert Williams, owner of Tradtalk

David Soza, owner of DAS Kinetic Archery

Phil Magistro, moderator on Leather wall

Pat Lefemine, owner of Leatherwall

Dale Karch, owner of 3 Rivers Archery

among others



and then there are the business names of Tradtalk, Tradmall, Leatherwall, Tradgang, Das Kinetic Archery, and 3 Rivers Archery, just to name a few. As I see it, all of which have been stalked, hounded, harrassed, defamed, belittled, and mocked, PUBLICLY with an intent that any judge would likely find malicious, LOL.



Gassy: ah heck, theys jus pirates bein pirates! sorta like a mad dog bitin sumbuddy, heck...... whatcha espect?? Da you remember dat "Phil Magistro has Mental Problems" thread in the ded chickin?? LOL Fearl finly hid that so folks couldn't find it! Maybe that fotergraff ofn his rear end for Phil was imbarrasin!!



Theo: Ya think???? LOL Well yea Mr Zen has some catching up to do for sure, LOL. We're just here to learn all about the pirate ways so that WE can become better pirates, that's all. It's just kind of tough to talk about pirate ways without, well..... talking about pirate ways!



Gassy: Im shor them boys undastand! Speakin a pirates ways, did you see Ol Bill Grenobals post and dat swipe he took at that DAS feller???LOL!! That wuz harsh!! LMAO!! GOTCHA!!! LMAO!! You spose sweet ol bill outta send his posts through Mr Zen next time??? LOL!

Theo: Well either that or Mr Zen better get used to some embarrassment! LOL.

THEEEEOOOOOO!!!!!

Gassy: THEEEOOOO! THEO!!! AAAHHHHHHGGGGG!!! THEO!!!!



Theo: GASSY! What the hell are you yelling about!!!!!



Gassy: ITS THEM PIRATES!! THE PIRATES HAV SPOTTID US!!!



Theo: Settle down Gassy! Settle down! It's OK!



Gassy: What happins ifn they get aholt of us!???



Theo: Well I imagine a little fella like you would be passed around like a cheap jug of rum!



Gassy: AAAAHHHHGGGG!!!



Theo: I'm sorry! I'm sorry!!! LMAO!!!! I'm only kidding! Look, the pirates are just like us! They believe deeply in the FREEDOM OF SPEECH. They believe that you have the absolute right to say anything about anybody for any reason. See, that's why they boarded the ship in the first place. They have all been persecuted for speaking their mind, and telling the truth, and freely sharing ideas. That's why they have broken free of the oppression of Tradgang, and Tradtalk, and Leatherwall.



Gassy: That's why they scooted clear of that evil Terry Green, an Vermonster, and dat low down rotten Esquire rite??



Theo: That's right Gassy! See, they didn't want any of those guys telling them they couldn't cuss or badmouth folks or tell lies because that is a first amendment right as they see it! They were standing proud for the constitution!



Gassy: Yea, but that was all a them rasin a knot on other folks, ya spose they'll be Ok with folks rasin a knot on thar hed.



Theo: Well sure Gassy, see first amendment rights aren't JUST for pirates, they are for everybody! They understand that. Besides, after all this time of badmouthing other folks, it would be downright hypocritical for them to mind it at all. These are real MEN here on the ship, not a bunch of weenies with insecurities and phobias. These are confident and robust men of the sea! They'll just wave and sail on by!



Gassy: Well OK, I jus don't wanna ruin my shot at bein a real pirate some day when I've lernt all the pirate ways an sech.



Theo: Trust me Gassy, It will be fine! We are here for the loooong haul, LOL!

Gassy Stumbles!

Theo: Gassy!! Take a look down there on the ship! There's a chance to watch a true master of deception at work! It's that Cutty fella and he's winding up on DAS again! This is going to be GOOD!

Gassy: Yep, I see that. it looks like that DAS feller has pooped a cork and said some really salty stuff!

Theo: Check it out Gassy! See how he has copied DAS's words and posted them for everyone to see, with the caption " Would you take this abuse? "

Gassy: yep, I see that thar, it looks like Ol DAS has gone off don't it?

Theo: Ha! Gotcha Gassy! See how he deliberately didn't post what Viper said to get that response? That was a calculated move to make DAS look bad by printing his words out of context!

Gassy: Whoa!

Theo: You've got to follow this Gassy! Now see Cutty took a few posts to get the crap rolling then he just waited for a another pirate to come along and kick the ball again, and who comes along? Kodiak!! Then Cutty expertly weaves in an attack on the other fellas and weaves in the "pirates are rats" thread, and all the time that little pizzle Hank is yippin and yappin

Gassy: Maa GAWD! Now that Kodak, ain't he the feller that is spreading lies about DAS over the PM sistem at lederwall!

Theo: Yep, that's him! He thinks DAS doesn't know, but a few of those messages got forwarded to DAS and saved, LOL!! Even pirates can't trust pirates!! This is classic piracy right here Gassy! See Viper was a first class jerk on that thread and lots of people took him to task. Soza was just one of them, but see how they singled him out from the herd? Then they spun it all around with various lies and double speak and made Soza look like the villian! It's beautiful, and they can sell that crap by the bushel basket! They get a tag team of defamation going and just hammer away! It's genius, and classic Cutty! God, I LOVE watching these pirates work!!

Gassy: Yea....well... Idunno

Theo: What's the matter Gassy? Are you OK????

Gassy: Theo..... I see all them masters like Spinetti an Kodak an ...... well..... I jus thank maybe I'm too dum to be a pirate. I ain't all clevur and slick like them fellers, wit all that fancy defamin and blasphemin. I dunno.........

Theo: Oh Gassy, cheer up! Why, I'll bet if you asked Spinetta or Kodiak, they'd come right out and tell that they have been life long liars and manipulators, you know that! You can't expect to be a master like, say a kodiak just over night! Come on now! You don't want the pirates to see you all down!

Gassy: Yea, but those fellers are soooo good!!! Ya have to be all smart an sech to do all that.

Theo: Don't be silly! Not all pirates are as smart and cunning as Spinetta and Kodiak. Look at Feral Donkey. He's the Capt. of the ship and he seems dumber than your cousin Enus!

Gassy: Ok...... well I guess so

Theo: Sure Gassy,...Now here now put your patch back on and straighten up your cap. There are lots of dumb pirates, I mean look at folks like Bill Grenoble for goodness sake!

Gassy: Yea, I had an old uncle like that with that thar oldstimers deseez too and he went around pee'n in all the potted plants an then swore on a stak a bibles he was going in the toylet!

Theo: That's the Gassy I know!! Now buck up buckaroo! Lets take a look at the Papa bull stuff. That's bound to be good!

Gassy: Yea, ain't that thar a killer?? Ol Rio/Zen and kodiak jus luv wuppin up on dat Bull feller! Ain't those 2 the frik'n frak of antimetal holier than thou stinktives??

Theo: It's hilarious Gassy! Those two clowns have been the biggest oarsmen in the outhouse on the metal bashing and trady trad band wagon. They are exactly the type of double talking goons that Papa is alluding too, and they have spun this around in the chicken to where papa is the bad guy! Did you see anything on that LW thread where Papa was bashing the stinktives??

Gassy: Nosirree, I did not. Man! they flipped that quiker'n a flapjack! Like sum sortta mental jujitsu! and then that Black wolf feller was dancin aroun pokin and proddin an swattin at the Bull like one a them pikadoors! I'm a bit dispointed tho, fer all that proddin an swattin an flapjack flippin, that ol Bull run em off!

Theo: Yea, it's the jackal attack Gassy! Another classic! They plan all this out in the chicken and they run out in packs after folks like that Bull fella. You know pirates are mainly cowards but they run strong in a pack!

Gassy: did ya see where MrZen/Rio was talk'n all about that thar metal mafia agenda, an the Dollaa bows? that boys et up with al that trady trad bile! It's a down rite hoot to see all that turned loose on the Bull! How long you spose it'll be afor Ol Rio an kodak turn all that bile loose on Fearl and the Lankuster boys?? You know they is jus droolin and wiping it back wait'n for a chance to get a fang in!

Theo: Ever heard the term "thick as thieves",????LOL! You'd be surprised how many coyotes and weasels you can shove into a barrel as long as they are all after the same mouse!! Once the mouse is gone though......................................LOL!

Gassy: Gosh, Im considerabel cheered up affer a good roun a bashin and defamin! It kinda puts the wood back in yor peg!

Theo: It's a great way to end the evening Gassy!

Decoding Pirate Lingo (part one)

Gassy: I'm awful confused Theo! I've been readin a bunch a that Pirate stuff, specially on the Ded Chikin and it ain't makin a lik a sense!

Theo: I can understand that Gassy. You have to be in a pirate frame of mind you see. First off, a real pirate doesn't ever tell the whole truth about anything, EVER! Pirates are masters of deception!

Gassy: You mean like a Ninja??

Theo: Well sort of, but Ninjas are on the good side of things and pirates are a scourge you see. That's the whole point of piracy: to be pervayer of evil in the world.

Gassy: Wow! If'n we ever dock with that sister ship can we truss those boys not to slit our throat?

Theo: Nope! If we could trust them they wouldn't be real pirates, but anyway, getting back on the lingo part, here's one example. See how that Brent Kaufman fella says he was chewed out by the moderators on TT for just wanting to post a shoot schedule?

Gassy: Yep I seen that! Those TT fellers is bunch a rats and poor Ol Brent was another pirate viktum!

Theo: Exactly! That's exactly the message he wanted to get across! Truth is, I talked to those moderator fellas and they let me read the exact PMs they sent to Brent. They were sweet as pie to Brent. Here take a look for yourself .....................

Gassy: Whoooaaaa! That Brent feller piratized me! There ain't no chew'n going on here! In fact it's a bunch a back slappin an fat chewin just like ol buddies! So why would he lie about all that??

Theo: Because he's a pirate! That's what I'm trying to tell you. A good pirate RARELY tells the whole truth! It's a discipline of sorts and a way of thinking.

Gassy" Do you spose we will EVER be good enuff at that to be pirates??

Theo: I don't know Gassy, that's why we are here! To study the very best and hopefully learn a thing or two! We've got the best teachers we could hope for because there isn't a half honest one in the bunch.

Gassy: Good! Then we are all set to lern, but where do we start? I mean, if'n we caant believe a word outta thar mouth, how do we break the code?

Theo: It's very subtle Gassy! You have to read between the lines. It will come with practice. If it were easy, everyone would be a pirate and they wouldn't be so special! They are the nastiest ship sailing under the skull and bones! They're the best! In fact, Brent just told an outright lie, like a bunch of the pirates do. Kevin Cummings told an outright lie on the Leatherwall about whether the pirates support lying and bashing, LOL! That lying outright is the simplest form of dishonesty but the pirates are well versed in many forms of dishonesty!

Gassy: Ya mean they is multi talented liars??

Theo: Well what do you think???, LOL ! It may take a us years to get that good because I suspect a bunch of them have been liars their whole lives. Here's another example. Remember how Hank is always saying he got run off for posting an innocent DAS/SAD parody thread??

Gassy: Sure I do, them folks at TT ran him off for not being a DAS cheerleeder right?? Ain't no way Ol hank was dranken that koolad!!

Theo: Sorry Buddy, but you got fooled again! The truth is, Hank was in trouble for a long while before that thread. First he was spamming those Quinn bows till people couldn't stand it. Then he was fighting with folks over political views to the point that they had to ban political topics.

Gassy: You mean Hank was the one who caused that trouble?

Theo: Yep, and then he went after the Christians, because you know how he feels about that! It didn't set well with folks being called "Jesus Joes".

Gassy: Lordy! All that was Hank???

Theo: I'm afraid so. Here's one example of stuff Hank said that pised people off:

quote:
I saw the "No Spin Zone" on the header of this site. Not really sure I want to be associated with anything remotely linked to the Fox Network. Kinda implies the Neocon extreme right wing jesus joe's hang here in lock step.

The DAS/SAD thread was just the last straw, and you know that was just a little off from Hanks story too. Here's the post by Hank that got the thread pulled:

"La-De-Da is Indian for "I just shit myself and I really don't care"I was really lucky to get one of these bad boys as there is a 5 year wait on them. Guys that are serious about them know what they are really worth. Soon there will be a custom elite model that will be called the La-De-Fuckin-Da."

Theo: See, he was daring people to ban him. He wasn't even banned after that actually. It was a while later he was told to take a 30 day leave to cool down, and he demanded to be banned.

Gassy: Dang!!! I was snookerd again!!! Those boys shor can spin a tall yarn!!

Theo: I'm telling you! Rarely a word of truth ever, and we've just scratched the surface! Batton down the hatches me matey! We're headed into rough seas!!

Who's Who

Theo: So Gassy, we should talk about who is who on the Pirate site, don't you think!

Gassy: Yessir! Thar's lotsa super characters on thar and we shoud spend a little time telling folks about'm.


Theo: Gosh where do we start?? So much talent and so many interesting people. Who do you think is king of the pirates Gassy?


Gassy: Ah thats eezy, it's that feller Cutty! That Peter Spinetti feller! He's the KING of pirates!


Theo: How do you figure that?


Gassy: Well he's got more posts that anybuddy, more threds than anybuddy, and dang if'n he aint the brains of the operation. That Cutty is a bright man! Mean too! He's the sortsa feller that wood poison the famly dog if'n the kids messed up thar chores!! Asides all a that, he's got the vary best pirate name!


Theo: Well what about Feral Donkey? He owns the site you know.


Gassy: Nah, that Donkey is a dumb ass, ha ha ha ha! Thats funny rite thar! FFfttt, ooow, sorry! Nah Fearl is OK I guess. He's a big simple feller but he's good harted. I had a cousin like him named Enus that a wooda come out just as brite as me but my aint dropped'm down the outhouse hole on mistake! He was all buried up down in thar an it cut off his air ya see. We always said he had shit for brains, he he he he! Fearl wouldn't be nowhere witout ole Spinetti tho. Spinetti is the genral fer sure. Had you ever seen Spinetti go after ole Papa Bull or that Esky feller?? Holy Moly! Wy he's been ridin that DAS feller like a stolen moped. Nosiree, Cutty is the king all rite!

Theo: Do you suppose Feral Donkey got shoved down an outhouse??

Gassy: I'm shur of it! Hes got that same dull look that come over Enus after bein all covered up down in thar! Poor ole Fearl, you can see he was a bit challenged from this baby piture. I'm shur he went down that hole. Poor little feller.

Gassy: He was born to run a pirate ship tho!



Theo: Makes sense Gassy, Ok well let's see, how about that Top Camp fella, what's he all about anyway??

Gassy: OOOOh Now he's an odd duk allrite. Now I hate to go supposin about some folks ya know, but's here's how it looks and it looks a bit unsetlin. Now how would YOU describe a feller who claims ta be a COWBOY from NEW JERSY, spends a good deal a time ridin PONIES BACKWARDS outta the barn, an makes his livin doing some sortta artsy fartsy stuff!! Now I ain't nuttin but a dumb ole country boy, but down home those is the boys that are diddlin thar fangers under the toilet stall at the feller next door!!

Theo: Gassy!!! You don't think.........????????

Gassy: Yessir!!! That is whut I think!!!..................... don't drop the soap in the shower!! That feller is a real dandy, have a look!







Theo: Well, I think it's time to move on! Let's see........ Hank! what about Hank?

Gassy: Hanks a vary compulcated feller I'd say. I didn't know much about all that luminat'n ya know until you told me some of that. Maybe ya bettur splain some a that again fer me. I still ain't got it.

Theo: Well, how do I say this?? Hank is able to see things that no ordinary man can see.

Gassy: Ya mean like that Hanky aimin system??

Theo: Exactly Gassy! See, nobody could understand that whole concept because they didn't have the second sight of the universe that Hank has. Other fellas just couldn't see it. They didn't get it!

Gassy: Ya mean like some fellers can see ghosts and some caant? I no all those shootin boys on Tradtalk thought it was bullshet!!

Theo: Well sort of, but this is more along the lines of seeing the whole universe. I can't say that I really understand it. It's metaphysical !

Gassy: LORD! ya mean Hank is all inta the medafizzical??? Like that Steven Hakkins feller?? No wunder nobody can keep up with that boy! I always wunder'd why he was like the shamun, voodoo docter of the bunch! I jus thought he was a mean vindickive little pizzle from the way he nips at all da big dogs. Here's da way I had that boy amagined:

Theo: Now that's funny!! No Gassy, Steven Hawkens is into real physics and real science. We'll have to talk this through later when I have more time! So who else is a bright star down there?

Gassy: Well, howa bout that NJstykbow feller, an dat Stykshooter feller, ya know thar sucked up tighter'n a nut on that RobK. That Leegee feller now he's an OOfishal dipplemat from the Lankastur kingdom to the pirate underwurld. They outta give that feller a robe or sumpthin an one of them septers ta wave around!

Theo: Gassy we should send that suggestion over to the sister ship! Hey, we almost forgot Black Wolf! Black Wolf is a real swashbuckler!

Gassy: Yessir he shor is! He's a real mans man if'n ya know whut I mean! He's a model ya know! Yessir, if'n I was one a them fanger diddlin fellers I'd be on Black Wolf like a latex thong, ha ha ha ha! He sorta reminds me of a model I used to know. She only had about 4 or 5 things to say ya know, sorta like one a them pull strang dolls, same ole thang over an over. Didn't matter tho cuz she was real perty just like Wolf. Chek this out!

Theo: Gassy, he's gorgeous! He's even got a fuzzy cap! I wonder if he uses shampoo with the conditioner built in or a whole other bottle? I never knew you dated a model!!!

Gassy: Yessir! an I got nikkid pitures too! he he he he ! FFFbllllaaatt!!!! ohhh sumtimes I just loose it, sorry!!

Aftermath!

Well the last couple of days have sure been eventful and fun! Tradtalk posted an edict warning that anyone taking part in the trash talking at the Pirate site would be banned from Tradtalk. The Pirates responded with a resounding raised middle finger, and shoveled even more dung onto the heap! Go to Tradtalk and check out the "Tradtalk Members" thread at the top of the page!


Theo: Gassy, take a look down there at the Pirate site. Do you see any moving and shaking??

Gassy: No I sure don't! All I see are tumble weeds blowing through. It's mighty quiet.

Theo: You don't supposed that exposing them to the light of day has dampened their spirit do you??

Gassy: Ya caant dampen a pirate's spirit that easy Theo! They'll be back to badmouthing and blasphemen in due order! I see they posted a keep out sign at the entrance to the Dead Chicken forum. What is that all about?? I meen ya caant even see the message unless ya have access!

Theo: Well, LMAO, I guess they think that makes it all OK! I guess you can badmouth folks all you want as long as you state that the ones you are badmouthing aren't allowed to hear it

Gassy: Whuuut? ..... I mean, I know I'm a little slow but how in the heck does that change anythang?? It's not like they is badmouth'n and blaspheem'n between a couple guys in a bar. It's still a public forum ain't it?? My head is spinnin!

Theo: Exactly, my friend, but "pirate speak" and "pirate logic" tend to track just a little off as we will see over and over. Of course! Anybody can log in and read all that stuff.

Gassy: Mine boglin!! Hey, how come that Oscar feller is wound up to cuss'n an spit'n over being banned from Tradtalk??

Theo: Well it's just more pirate logic. See, Oscar went over to Tradtalk and read that thread about being banned if you trash talk them, then he went over to the Dead Chicken and started a trash talking thread so he got banned as promised. Then he posted a thread saying "I got banned for NO reason" and all his pirate buddies rallied and said "yep you sure did". You've got to love twisted logic like that!

Gassy: Now stop that!!! My head is spin'n so bad I'ma gittin sick! So yor say'n that he deliberately did something to get banned so he could cry about being banned??

Theo: Gassy, you're a lot smarter than folks give you credit for! Pirates are big into martyrdom! Did you know that many of them ASKED or DEMANDED to be banned so they could cry "banned" ??? That's a fact! Sure some were banned, but a good many just wanted the badge!

Gassy: Ooooh, Maaa Haaad! Thats jus nuts! They sure have been complain'n about being locked out of Tradtalk haven't they?

Theo: Yeah, and you've got to wonder why! I mean first off they hate those folks, and secondly, they have talked many times about how much talent is here on this pirate board. rswbow said it like it is. All the greats are right here!

Gassy: If'n their so great, then why are they trying to snag DAS's tiller thread off'n Tradtalk? I seen that Black Wolf fella complain'n about it here on the pirate site and on the leatherwall. Seems like they are lost without being able to tap into folks who have REAL experience and REAL knowledge! They're run'n around the Tradtalk site banging on the walls like the liv'n dead!!!

Theo: Now Gassy, you know all these guys are real experts! They go on and on about how much DEPTH is on the pirate site. I mean look around..........

Gassy: Well, look'n at that tiller thread, DAS said more in one post on Tradtalk than these pirates could muster in 3 pages, plus all the "wisdom" from LW.

Theo: You may be right, I mean Cutty (Peter Spinetta) once said that he had the whole tradtalk database copied to hard drive. It's hard to figure how an expert like him would need that sort of thing unless he is just one of these "internet experts".

Gassy: It's easy to sell yourself as an expert when you have a database like that and a website to dredge for answers when you need'm. I think it is pretty funny that they are whin'n and cry'n about not being able to see in thar anymore!

Theo: I guess they didn't think about that when they took to defaming and blaspheming, LOL. Here's a picture of Feral Donkey and Cutty accessing the Pirate archives! Talk about depth!! I'm sure there are a few peanuts or corn kernals down there, but it's a shame they have to dig through so much stink to find them!



Gassy: Backfire!!! he he he,........................ Blatfttt!!!, sorry :(